Whoosh

Eating more calories seemed to have helped. Dropped 3 more pounds. 31 pounds down!

Doctor is super proud and told me to keep doing what I’m doing. 🙂 /chuffed.

I’m eating more calories, but I’ve also dangerously upped my carb intake to between 30-50g on some days. Slowly weaning back on to them. I couldn’t be arsed with paleo/primal, mainly because I don’t crave fruit or tubers, but it’s good to know it’s an option if I get bored. So I’m just going to Keto and maybe go a bit crazier on my sauces, allow more tomato based foods when I fancy them, or indulge in low carb pita breads for pizzas. I’ve mainly just been eating loads of veggies without care.

I tried, for about 30 minutes, to cut back on cheese but no meal would come to me. So I made low-carb pita pizza. Opposite spectrums… I might try again after we do a grocery shop and have more options.

In the end, Keto or not, as long as I’m making the right choices, I’m happy. I can’t imagine eating a bowl of pasta, with a side of garlic bread, and cake to finish: I’d feel cheated out of nutrients – where’s my heaping serving of vegetables?! [Similar to my anger towards iceberg lettuce.] I won’t be counting carbs or calories during the 2 week weddingmoon. I will, through habit and preference, avoid refined carbs in my food choices, but I’m okay with going off Keto for a bit. Exercise/cardio levels will increase by 1000% anyway.

 

In more somber news, my little sister was just admitted to the ICU for diabetic ketoacidosis. She’s 21 and been Type 1 since she was 4? 6? Young. Since her teenage years, she’s been living in this “I’m the victim” mentality and trying to get her to take care of herself has been next to impossible. She also had Graves’ disease and just stubbornly hates taking a pill everyday so… she doesn’t. *I* take 14 pills a day, everyday and I don’t even have to, but that’s where her “Victim” identity comes in.

Anyway. I’ve been so angry at her for the past month because she was doing better – taking her medication, testing her blood sugar, eating healthy, cutting back on diet pop – and then she got addicted to Black Ops. My mom and I have had to sit by and suffer (I’ve lost a lot of sleep thanks to her screaming obscenities at 12 year old boys), and worry about her health. She stays up for nearly days on end, with almost no sleep. She sliced the tip of her fucking finger off at work and still didn’t see the stress she was putting on her body. I don’t even want to talk about what she’s been eating and drinking…

Well, today it finally sent out an SOS. Her pump stopped working and we don’t know for how long, only that she didn’t fix it when she fucking said she did. Mom took her to the ER tonight while I was at work and they are slowly trying to stabilise her labs.

I’m so angry. Angry because she’s so fucking stupid and careless. Angry because I’m scared. Angry because I try to no avail. Angry because in the end, it’s up to her. I can only hope that this is one Giant Fucking Wake Up Call to her. Get out of the “I’m Invincible” mindset and start TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF before it’s too late. And no, it’s not just because you’re diabetic, or have Graves, and ‘boo hoo it’s so unfair on me’ — EVERY ONE needs to CARE about what shit they put in their body! I finally started caring. finally stopped binge drinking and eating unhealthfully. I do it because I’M HUMAN, not immortal, and everyone, disease or not, needs to be mindful of what they do to their bodies. Take action before it’s too late…

Ugh.

Bed time. I’m sure my stress levels aren’t helping with my stalled weight loss…

 

ForHealthxx

 

 

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Cheating

Well, it happened. I had an unplanned cheat. I went to my Uncle’s 60th, I took the toppings off the pizza crust and piled my plate with salad. But then the wine… oh, the wine, oh the calories. OH THE HANGOVER. I never felt so terrible as I did waking up on Saturday. I knew I was a bit drunk, but I’ve been worse, so I was not expecting the Hangover from Hell. I even had to leave work early. But by the evening, I was better. I still ate Keto despite my carbic oversight the night before. And most importantly, I Did Not Beat Myself Up About It.

Sunday I had my awesome British Tea Party themed Bridal Shower, thrown by my bestest, awesomest friend Lindsey. Seriously, she NEEDS to be a party planner. Everyone raved about how fun and clever it was. She is an absolute star! I had a phenomenal day.

Crazy Hats

Crazy Hats: Aunt, Mom, Me, Aunt, Aunt

 

My old boss, who is DARLING, drove all the way to Detroit to a Scottish bakery to buy cakes: she didn’t know I was low-carbing, bless her. Not to mention it was a tea party which meant biscuits and scones. So for my special day, I ate carbs! Lots.
I did make some awesome Keto Cheesecake Cupcakes

I did make some awesome Keto Cheesecake Cupcakes

So did my mom. We were so sleep by the time we got home, we went for naps. I woke up STARVING. Absolutely STARVING which is so rare for me. My mom got us McDonalds to end our Cheat Day. I didn’t count calories all weekend. I felt bloated and sleepy. I didn’t exercise.

I woke up this morning fully expecting the backlash on the scale. I was prepared and OKAY with it. It’s not that I want to be gaining weight or become ‘okay’ with cheat days, I just want to give myself a break every now and then. Plus the wins and losses, the ups and downs, are what the journey is about. It’s about being okay with making mistakes or slipping up for a day or a week, and then Getting Right Back On It. Having the strength to not say, “Well, I’ve already fucked up this weekend, might as well just give up” is important to my mindset; because that’s what I would say back in the day.

Anyway, the scale? 2 Pounds. I “gained” two pounds. (I don’t start calling it a gain until it’s 5 pounds, 2+ days in a row). So colour me Amazed. It’s nice to know for September, when/if I decide to go crazy when Matthew’s here, which I probably will. But as long as I stay down until my Wedding, what happens a week after that I won’t stress about.

To jump back into Ketosis, I’ve decided on a Cream Cheese Fat Fast. Weirdly enough, cream cheese has been the most delicious and easiest thing for me to eat these past few weeks. So either 8oz a day, or a little less if I want to throw in some bacon or a Fat Bomb. I will try to keep my calories below 1000 but I plan on being more strict about the 90% Fat ratio, which I wasn’t strict about last time. I might do 2 or 3 days, haven’t decided.

I’m most excited to having energy again. I’m heading out to do some Fasted Cardio for the first time in almost a week! Then I’ll go back later tonight for some weights. I’ve done a complete 180 from earlier this month: I used to HATE cardio, and obsess over weights. In the past few weeks, I’ve focused on cardio, and slacked on weights. Bah! Stupid self.

“I may not be there yet,

but I’m closer than I was yesterday.”

 

In wedding news, ONE MONTH until I get to be with Matt again. We’ll have been apart for seven months. And it will be the longest we ever have to go again without being together. I will have to say goodbye one more time, but it won’t be for long.

I sent out the invites, had my bridal shower, got hotels sorted, most important DisneyMoon stuff organised, dress going in for alterations… It’s just bits and bobs now towards the end. Although I do need to make a new list: one that points out the Little Stuff I keep forgetting to remember…

 

Right. I’m off. I shall report back with how the Fat Fast went. Hopefully smoother than last time…… Hah. GOOD LUCK to you as well! Speak soon.

 

ForHealthxx

Fasted Cardio

Had my first Fasted Cardio experience and I am exhilarated. Went to the gym around 11:45 am so I had fasted for about 12 hours.

Actually, I forgot when I woke up at 9 and ate a Babybel (70 cals). I’m such a breakfast person. But then only had water and coffee. I took my sublingual B12 as well.

My goal was to maintain a heart-rate between 137-165 on the treadmill. Fat-burning area, but still only moderate. When doing FC, you don’t necessarily want to do high intensity. Especially me, who used to have passing out episodes (over 5 years ago) so I’m still conditioned to always be weary of blood sugars n that.

I had the best cardio session of my summer! I went for 40 minutes, with a 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down. Honestly, I usually get bored after 20 minutes of cardio. Sure, I’m sweating, feeling good, but around 15 minutes I start looking over to the weights area or wondering what time it is. Very bad habit I need to break is cutting my cardio. So the fact that I did 50 minutes on the treadmill is awesome for me.

Did a usual warm up, no incline but moderate pace. After 5 minutes, I upped my incline and kept it at a 5 for 25 minutes. My heart rate for most that time was around 150. I’d vary my pace back and forth, but my heart rate went no lower than 140. Then my energy levels just went mental and as I came down to the last 15 minutes, I surged with a speed walk (I don’t jog… yet) on an 8 incline. [I love incline. Reminds me so much of walking through Edinburgh :(]. That took me right to my 5 minute cool down. In that time, I heart rate went up to 175 (endurance level) and I was fine with it. In fact, when I usually do cardio, my heart rate is mostly commonly between 165-180. I felt awesome. I could’ve kept going but didn’t want to push too hard, so I headed home ready for lunch!

According to the treadmill I burned 306 calories. So 236 (damn babybel) of fat stores, supposedly! I’m happy with that.

It felt good to eat 780 super healthy calories in one sitting without feeling ill. I mixed my protein shake (whey and casein) with almond milk. Grilled a burger patty, melted mozzarella on it, put it on a bed of spinach, topped with a whole avocado, and a bit of mayonnaise. Salt and pepper. Macros are currently near perfect (8C,68F,24P) with only 12 net carbs. The casein will probably keep me full through work.

Now I just need to keep my water intake going. Some days I forget and am left trying to drink far too many millilitres in too little time (which as we all know can be dangerous). I have my 700 mL bottle I refill as I go along and I know I should have at least 5 of them each day. I know my coffee and Sparkling Ice counts to water intake as well, but I never include them. I don’t want to get lazy with it. It’s ridiculous how important the RIGHT amount of water is key in health and losing weight. Even when you think you’re drinking enough — YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT.

On my last thought, Mumford & Sons is alarmingly AWESOME to workout to. And this song was the most empowering Cool Down song to ever come on:

ForHealthxx

Comfort Food

It’s too fucking hot. I am NOT a heat/humidity person. Scotland was perfect for me. On the very rare days we had sun and warmth (more often than not it was one without the other), I relished it. It was rare and beautiful and made everyone so happy. Whereas here in Michigan, it’s hot ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It is not unique. It is not beautiful. And people moan and complain, and if they’re like me, they’re miserable.

I’m excited to move to Liverpool, as it will be slightly warmer than Edinburgh on average, but still moderate. British weather is my ideal.

Here’s a photo album of a few Keto meals I’ve had these past few weeks. A perk of Keto is rediscovering the chef in me. A long time ago, I considered culinary school, I loved it that much. But moving away, becoming a student, cooking for one all contributed to laziness. Plus, Chef at work mostly cooked for me. Anyway, here’s a nice tour of some of the things this “diet” consists of:

http://imgur.com/a/Gbs6K

Wait, did I just complain about heat and then make CHILLI for dinner? Isn’t that the ultimate winter comfort food? Ah well, it’s bloody good! Here’s a follow up to the last photo in that album: my finished Caveman Chilli Bowl!

IMG_5869

A Bust

My Fat Fast was a bust. Saturday I did rather well. Sunday, I was doing great until about 8pm when my sister and I decided to go to the drive in (Despicable Me 2 & Monsters University! Both awesome). I didn’t want to be stuck with only cream cheese to snack on during the films, so I decided that instead of Fat Fasting, I was going to PIG. OUT. I read on /r/keto that sometimes upping your caloric intake for a few days will help a stall. And that’s what I did. In one sitting I ate TWO bratwurst patties smothered in melted cheese and hot sauce, with sour cream and ketchup to dip. The funny thing is, I guess it wasn’t even that much food. It was just two patties. Like eating two massive burgers at a cookout, not including all the salads and crisps, right? Yet I could barely move through all of Despicable Me 2. I overate for the first time in weeks! That was 1,155 calories in ONE SITTING! I still managed only 1,839 for the whole day. That’s used to be a below-average day. It’s amazing how things change. What an awesome experiment.

I woke up the next day feeling good. I ate a lot of calories, I had a great time at the drive in cinema, but most importantly, I was still in Ketosis! (Ate 29g of carbs on Sunday without working out). I stepped on the scale and had LOST a pound. Wow.

I was buzzing and decided to do my last Fat Fast day. I had half of my Bulletproof Coffee and a chunk of cream cheese. Brought a container of cream cheese to work with me. Yup, that’s right – I was going to do the Extreme Fat Fast. I felt great all day, as I usually do. I went on my work break and had cream cheese, but caved and ate a packet of tuna. Then mother asked me to buy groceries and that’s when I lost control.

OH MY GOD my curry sauces are fairly low carb?!?! Holyyy shit. I bought the korma (8g per 1/3 cup) and the tikka masala (6g per 1/3 cup). I have a curry obsession: Back in Scotland, my fattest nights were when I’d order a take away of chicken korma, basmati rice, garlic naan bread, and don’t forget my beef samosa starters, dipped in their creamy delicious mystery sauce. Food enough for two, probably even three, and I would force it all down my throat. Well, sometimes, I’d see reason and save half for breakfast. But most of the time I’d end up miserably full, hating myself. I couldn’t do that now. My stomach wouldn’t allow. I barely eat over an actual servings size worth these days.

Wow, that was a digression. Point is – when I got home, I was starving and far too excited about my curry. I cooked up a cup of diced chicken, poured 1/3 cup of tikka sauce down over it, let it simmer for 10 minutes and I was whisked back to Scotland on the first bite. I love my curry. My stats were at about 84% fat when I left work, but after dinner I went a pretty decent 9%/63%/28%. So at the end of the day, a good Keto day. And I only had 16g of carbs.

When I’m Ketoing, I struggle to meet my protein quota. So (attempting) Fat Fasting was relatively easy until I started craving protein!? I guess my body is just getting used to the Keto Quotas.

I’m feeling crap having not been to the gym in like a week. I miss the days of unemployment when I could go to the gym WHENEVER I WANTED. Now, despite it being 24/7, I have to account for sleep because I have to function at work. It’s infuriating. I’m mostly mad at myself. I need to AT LEAST get my ass there to do cardio. I bet my weightloss would kick in again. Damn myself!

I have 50 days until my fiancé flies in and 53 days until our wedding. Also, today is his 32nd birthday! I’m glad this the last birthday we’ll have to spend apart. Look at him: He’s actually gorgeous. With his sexy Liverpudlian accent. I want to be the sexiest woman for him.

Image

Anyway. Off to the doctors! I hope she’s proud 🙂

ForHealthxx

3.5 Weeks

Nearly a month into Keto and I’m down 19 pounds. The past few days haven’t seen much scale change. But I’m trying not to concern myself with that: I plan on doing a Fat Fast from Saturday-Monday and hopefully reset my system again.

I have been in Ketosis. I consistently check my Ketones especially if I’ve had to consume a few more carbs than usual, like last night. I tend to do that on days I don’t plan for the gym, but end up going. When I do plan, I keep in mind the protein powder (because my mother “had a coupon” and didn’t get the kind I asked. But this kind has whey and casein, so I can forgive the 7 carbs).

So on to Non-Scale Victories:

1. My arms are getting definition. Like… two months ago, I held my arms up, no muscle, and FLAB. Just flab. It was sad, because I used to have decent arm strength back in the day. They called me Strong-Bad because I was the one who could always jars and unscrew pop bottles (that I screwed on too tight). But now I can FEEL my muscles. I can FLEX them. And that flab? Still there, but amazingly less so. I know I have much more fat to burn, but it’s so refreshing seeing the changes.

2. Before I moved back to US, I always wore this pair of comfy, short black shorts to work (with leggings or tights underneath). About two, maybe three, months ago, I went to put them on and I could not button them without the muffiniest top ever spilling over, never mind not being able to breathe. I think that was one of my wake up calls. I have two pairs of the same brand of shorts in different colours that were always tighter, because they are MUCH less worn in than the black ones. And I thought, what a waste! It’s summer and I can’t wear the only shorts I own, not even my worn in ones! Yesterday, I was dressing for my Bridal Shopping appointment and wanted bare legs (I basically LIVE in leggings) and minimal clothes since I’ll be changing. I thought, “Well… let’s try the black work shorts.” FIT. BEAUTIFULLY. I was ecstatic. Even without tights or leggings, I still looked… slim! (Well, slimmer). My legs didn’t look too horrendous. I wasn’t muffin topping AT ALL. Positively chuffed.

3. The rate at which I feel satiated is fantastic. My appetite has shrunk – and not to unhealthy levels: to NORMAL proportions. The average meal serving is actually close to what the serving suggestion is. I never thought I’d see the day… I find myself struggling to finish meals some days, because my Fat Brain fills a plate, but my Keto Brain tells me when I’m honestly full. I average around 1,000 calories a day which is low, but I’m not going to force myself to eat when I’m honestly not hungry. I also ensure I take my vitamins every day (currently just a Boots multi-vitamin and magnesium citrate), keeping obsessive track.

4. I don’t crave carbs. Like, at all. I work in a bakery; I am constantly offered free donuts, cookies, bread… And I always say ‘no, thank you’. I deal with raw cookie dough; at my old job, I used to chow down on the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie dough. Between that and donuts, I’m amazed I don’t ever cheat. When I crave pizza, I’m excited to try a new version of low carb crust. When I crave pancakes, I dove into almond flour pancakes. I get excited about my new low carb versions because I know that if I eat carb-heavy food, I will get ill and it will make me fat. Such a good mindset! It’s refreshing to be on a ‘diet’ where I do not feel like I’m missing out.

I’m going to take my measurements tonight, but again on Monday night (after my Fat Fast, night before my doctor appointment). Just to see between weight and inches what a three day fast can actually do. Then hopefully I’ll have some awesome results to report to Dr Klock 🙂

I’d really like to get a lipid panel, so I’ll ask Doc if we can organise that. Problem is I only have until September until my medical insurance runs out 😦 Crap. I am still undecided if I go one more month with Adipex? I might as well while I can get it, and I could use the extra help before the wedding.

Oh, I bought a dress! Very flattering, super comfortable, totally non-traditional (it’s actually a bridesmaid dress). I had them get it in my current size, because they can take in up to two sizes so I’ll just hope that that’s all I need by then. WEird thing to hope! But I’m being realistic. I think the most alterations they’ll have to do is form-fitting it. Taking it in to accentuate my waist. Hoping I can lose a few more inches off my ruddy hips though! I’ll keep my eye on that progress. I guess my First Progress Goal will be for the last week of August, when the dress comes in! That will be when they make the final alterations.

I’m still unsure what to do, diet-wise for my two weeks with my husband. I want champagne, but I don’t need it… I’m not worried about food – I will happily eat low carb. But drinking… I love wine! Can I handle two weeks of only diet & whisky, as much as I like it? No margaritas in sunny Florida? Hmm… Quite the decision to make… I know people occasionally have ‘cheat’ weeks for events like this, but I’m more worried how my body will react to the extra carbs. Nothing more of a mood killer than unpredictable bowels.

On that TMI note, I must go. I hope to share some of my meal photos from the past week next time. I’ve become quite the experimental chef!

Best of luck

ForHealthxx

And So It Begins! Er… Again.

I’ve done Keto before. Back in January 2012, my pal Lloyd and I (both Redditors) decided to give this a try. I had found out about it on Reddit and researched and researched for weeks before I dove in. I told Lloyd about it and he was keen to join me. We had so much fun discussing meals, going out to eat together, shopping together, and encouraging each other to get out and move. Well, he encouraged my lazy ass to get out and move… You see, Edinburgh is SUPER hilly. Walking gets exhausting quickly – That’s Fat Me talking.

We both had awesome success. He didn’t have much to lose, he’s already naturally fit. My fat melted off. I looked FABULOUS by the time I went to Madrid. But then I went to Madrid. I tried to still do low-carb, but I wanted to enjoy myself. I drank sugary alcohol, I ate paella. When I came back, I was poor and had a dissertation to focus on. So I just fell off. Other things became more important and I couldn’t turn down free food at work. So the excuses went… By June 2012, I was HEAVY. I don’t know how much, all I know is I had gone through stress, depression, and made it out alive to graduate. My sister visited and I probably consumed about 4,000 calories a day. I may be exaggerating but we ate like Queens on her first tour of Edinburgh and our weekend trip to Dublin.

From there, I just stopped caring. I was maintaining a higher-than-usual weight for my Edinburgh self. I tried a few things here and there but never stuck. I met my now-fiancé in November and all I cared about was him. I was aware I was heavier than I usually am when we met, but that weirdly comforted me: He’s gorgeous and responsible and kind and funny – but he picked me, even at such a heavy weight. So I let myself be happy.

 

As you read in the first post, by the middle of June 2013 I had been hitting the gym regularly (for the first time ever) and I was on Adipex, but nothing was moving. All of May and now half of June, and I’d lost 3 pounds? I love Keto. I know it works. I feel amazing on it. Why am I just NOT DOING IT? Especially now since I don’t need to buy my own food!

June 17th, I started lowering my carbs, as I toyed with the commitment. Then something weird happened. After only 2 days of low-carb, calorie counting, I had to eat pizza. Well, I was ‘cousin-sitting’ and I had/have no money of my own, and we were left with a coupon for free pizza. So I ate it. It was a bad night. I ate half a small pizza, lots of veggies… okay, that’s not bad, right? But then I really did it. I ate AN ENTIRE BOX of breadsticks. Fuck me, they were good. And I couldn’t stop. All it took was 2.5 days, and my carb craving overcame me.

I once read, “One bad meal won’t make you fat, just like one healthy meal won’t make you skinny”. I beat myself up mentally that night, but let it go. The next day, June 20th, I dove back in to Keto. Bulletproof coffee. Meatballs. ENERGY. Feeling awesome. By 6:00 I was making us a salmon and asparagus dinner when it hit me. Nausea. Stomach churning. Dizzy. Can’t stand… What the hell! Ran to toilet. Couldn’t tell which end it wanted to escape. Nothing happen for an hour, other than extreme nausea. I made myself vomit and up lunch from 6 hours earlier came. Okay… Lie down… Wow. That was terrible. By 9:00, I was up again apologising to my cousin, feeling a bit human.

I Ketoed on, despite my weird nausea. For three days, I had diarrhoea. I can’t remember EVER having that for more than a day. Other than that issue, I could continue on with life. My macros were near-perfect: 5% carbs, 60% fat, 35% protein is my daily goal. I did and still do struggle with eating enough protein weirdly enough. By the 24th of June, I was easily averaging <30g a day and proud.

That week my little sister joined me in the diet. Two days later, my mom did, with the help of her long-time low-carb best friend. And that’s been us. Having my mom and sister on board (who I live with) has definitely made all the difference. We overhauled our cupboards. Gave everything we can eat away to my older sister – she had to make 2 trips, but she has a happy pantry full of long shelf life foods now. My mom asked me to take her Keto Basics Shopping and we stocked up on the usuals (cream cheese, whipping cream, cheese, meats, mayo). I had her watch Fat Head to help her shake lose the 1980s science of Low Fat Myths. It’s been wonderful.

I think my first week as Keto Flu. I don’t recall having that the first time I did Keto. It’s possible my body has an easier time jumping in to Ketosis, so once I committed carbocide my body freaked out. I now have it in my head that that’s what carbs do to my body, so I am very careful to avoid them this time around.

It’s only been three full weeks for me, but I feel like everything has happened. I saw my doctor on the 20th of June and had only lost THREE POUNDS when I saw her in beginning of May. That was pathetic effort. But it’s been three weeks, and I am Officially Down TWENTY POUNDS. I do go a few days at the same weight, (I know, I still weigh myself every day – bad Nell) but I don’t freak out if I’m not losing. I just Keep Calm, and Keto On as they say.

This is where I am at now, in my life. I hope to update my success frequently as I go along. Discuss my low-carb experiences, track not only my weight loss but my measurements and health as well. Next doctor appointment is a week from today! I hope she can see me 25 pounds lighter.

Stay tuned this weekend for a possible 3 day Fat Fast Diary! I will be checking my measurements this week as well, see if anything has happened in a few weeks.

 

ForHealthxx