Cheating

Well, it happened. I had an unplanned cheat. I went to my Uncle’s 60th, I took the toppings off the pizza crust and piled my plate with salad. But then the wine… oh, the wine, oh the calories. OH THE HANGOVER. I never felt so terrible as I did waking up on Saturday. I knew I was a bit drunk, but I’ve been worse, so I was not expecting the Hangover from Hell. I even had to leave work early. But by the evening, I was better. I still ate Keto despite my carbic oversight the night before. And most importantly, I Did Not Beat Myself Up About It.

Sunday I had my awesome British Tea Party themed Bridal Shower, thrown by my bestest, awesomest friend Lindsey. Seriously, she NEEDS to be a party planner. Everyone raved about how fun and clever it was. She is an absolute star! I had a phenomenal day.

Crazy Hats

Crazy Hats: Aunt, Mom, Me, Aunt, Aunt

 

My old boss, who is DARLING, drove all the way to Detroit to a Scottish bakery to buy cakes: she didn’t know I was low-carbing, bless her. Not to mention it was a tea party which meant biscuits and scones. So for my special day, I ate carbs! Lots.
I did make some awesome Keto Cheesecake Cupcakes

I did make some awesome Keto Cheesecake Cupcakes

So did my mom. We were so sleep by the time we got home, we went for naps. I woke up STARVING. Absolutely STARVING which is so rare for me. My mom got us McDonalds to end our Cheat Day. I didn’t count calories all weekend. I felt bloated and sleepy. I didn’t exercise.

I woke up this morning fully expecting the backlash on the scale. I was prepared and OKAY with it. It’s not that I want to be gaining weight or become ‘okay’ with cheat days, I just want to give myself a break every now and then. Plus the wins and losses, the ups and downs, are what the journey is about. It’s about being okay with making mistakes or slipping up for a day or a week, and then Getting Right Back On It. Having the strength to not say, “Well, I’ve already fucked up this weekend, might as well just give up” is important to my mindset; because that’s what I would say back in the day.

Anyway, the scale? 2 Pounds. I “gained” two pounds. (I don’t start calling it a gain until it’s 5 pounds, 2+ days in a row). So colour me Amazed. It’s nice to know for September, when/if I decide to go crazy when Matthew’s here, which I probably will. But as long as I stay down until my Wedding, what happens a week after that I won’t stress about.

To jump back into Ketosis, I’ve decided on a Cream Cheese Fat Fast. Weirdly enough, cream cheese has been the most delicious and easiest thing for me to eat these past few weeks. So either 8oz a day, or a little less if I want to throw in some bacon or a Fat Bomb. I will try to keep my calories below 1000 but I plan on being more strict about the 90% Fat ratio, which I wasn’t strict about last time. I might do 2 or 3 days, haven’t decided.

I’m most excited to having energy again. I’m heading out to do some Fasted Cardio for the first time in almost a week! Then I’ll go back later tonight for some weights. I’ve done a complete 180 from earlier this month: I used to HATE cardio, and obsess over weights. In the past few weeks, I’ve focused on cardio, and slacked on weights. Bah! Stupid self.

“I may not be there yet,

but I’m closer than I was yesterday.”

 

In wedding news, ONE MONTH until I get to be with Matt again. We’ll have been apart for seven months. And it will be the longest we ever have to go again without being together. I will have to say goodbye one more time, but it won’t be for long.

I sent out the invites, had my bridal shower, got hotels sorted, most important DisneyMoon stuff organised, dress going in for alterations… It’s just bits and bobs now towards the end. Although I do need to make a new list: one that points out the Little Stuff I keep forgetting to remember…

 

Right. I’m off. I shall report back with how the Fat Fast went. Hopefully smoother than last time…… Hah. GOOD LUCK to you as well! Speak soon.

 

ForHealthxx

Marriage Post

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I just got some of the best news. I’m not sure it exactly qualifies as news: Let’s go with Hope. I just got the most heartwarming serving of Hope. I am overcome with possibility right now.

I was messaging a girl on Reddit who recently applied for her US>UK Marriage Visa. She kindly offered me advice (as it’s a bitch of a process). I asked her if she paid for a lawyer/advisor to look over it – I was told that this can speed the process up and ensure you have everything you need. Turns out, she didn’t. They just meticulously checked off the list of what they needed and paid for Priority Processing, which is only an extra $150 (on top of the $1,300. Christ).

So what’s my point? She said that between applying online, sending in her documents, doing her biometrics, and getting her Passport with approved Visa BACK – her total wait time was TWO. WEEKS.

TWO WEEKS. I don’t think I can actually fathom that.

For some reason, when I started my research back in February, I was always preparing for the worst: Not meeting financial requirements (he more than does), not being together long enough (no time limit, just proof it’s real and not sham), fees (okay that one is still a concern…).  For MONTHS, I’ve been mentally preparing myself for a 2-6 month wait for my Visa to get approved. I’ve had my fingers secretly crossed to be in Liverpool before Christmas, but I’ve been realistically considering January/February.

And just now, I find out, I could (technically) be in Liverpool by NOVEMBER? So now, it won’t come down to processing time. It’s going to come down to when I can afford my flight! My last ever one way ticket.

If I can be home by December… That will be magical. Matthew and I finally started dating in December. Our first physical meeting was November 10th. We’d known each other via Twitter for a while and had become good chums, always flirty, I always had a curious crush. But after my first Liverpool trip in November, we realised just how compatible we were. He had already made plans to come to Edinburgh on December 17, but I decided I didn’t want to wait a month to see him. December 1st I spent that weekend with him and it just exploded from there. By the time we found each other, we had been through enough in love to know when it’s worth it. On Boxing Day, while I was spending Christmas in London with one of my best friends, we both decided via texting that we didn’t care if I was leaving at the end of January; this was too good to let go. We had to try. I still can’t believe he took a chance on me. He spent New Years with me. I spent another weekend with him. And he came up for my Going Away Party to surprise me and we spent that last weekend together…

And here we are. Getting married in 50 days (SQUEE!). We’ll have been apart for about seven months when we see each other again. We’ve been apart longer than we’ve been together. And the 2 weeks we get in September for our wedding and Disneymoon will be the longest we’ve ever spent physically together. None of this scares me. Nothing alarms me. When it’s right, it’s easy.

I’m just so overcome with the idea that we may be able to start the rest of our lives sooner than I imagined.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to spend our first Christmas married actually together!

Check Up

Back from my first doctors appointment since I started Keto. She was so excited for my weight loss. I told her it was mostly from my diet. She has heard of it and actually had only good things to say. Her complaint was against Atkins no veggies thing, so as soon as I told her I am addicted to vegetables, both leafy and green, she was chuffed. My blood pressure is beautiful. (A nice change from 5-6 years ago when my anxiety would throw me into hypertension in minutes).

We talked about my supplements. As I’ve mentioned I’m only taking a multi and magnesium citrate. She says to add B12 to that. She also said my potassium levels should be fine (I’m obsessively tracking them); I’ll only need to add a supplement if I start cramping up a lot. I got another month of Adipex. I might be giving most of it to Lindsey. I haven’t taken it in a few days and my appetite has stayed the same. I’ll take it again for a few days. If it starts my weight loss again, I may keep them for myself. But that’s not how Adipex works, so I highly doubt it’ll effect my weight loss any more so than Keto will. But I shall experiment, regardless.

Got some muscle relaxers as well for me poor out-of-alignment back 😦 Standing at work for hours kills me. I miss my old job where at least I got to run around. Hopefully with more strength training and weight loss I can fix my spine along the way. Just need to endure the pain until then.

I scheduled a Lipid Profile! Excited to get my cholesterol, LDL, HDL, and Triglycerides checked! I can add that to my “Progress” charts. Then, when the naysayers shout back with, ‘Oh yeah? How’s your cholesterol?!’ I can finally say with certainty: IT’S GORGEOUS. EAT THAT, LIPID HYPOTHESIS.

On a non-diet related note: I have my first ever brazilian wax scheduled for Friday afternoon. I suspect to spend rest of the day lying spread eagle and popping ibuprofen so as not to irritate my probably already-angry lady area. The last thing I wanted to do was leave my first waxing to just before the wedding. This way I can get in twice before and make sure it’s all lovely and smooth. Shaving is literally the bane of my existence. If this spa does an awesome job, I’ll definitely get a deep tissue; perhaps a facial; at least a mani and pedi! Damn I wish I had more money.

RIGHT. My diet is sorted for now. I’m going to keep calm and not freak out about staying the same weight for a week. I’m probably in Post-Induction Stall Syndrome (PISS): “Water and glycogen find a new balance and this causes a stall or even weight gain, which lasts for a week or two. Relax, PISS is both normal and temporary.” So, aye, as it says… Just RELAX, Janelle! Need to get my cardio ass into GEAR. Sat here complaining about a stall, when I haven’t been to the gym in 5 days. The nerve of me.

Just under 7 weeks. I wonder how much weight I can lose in that time? 20 in 4 so far… Maybe  30? That would get me at my Recorded Adult Lowest! I think that would make me the happiest Bride. Aside, of course, from Husband. But saying “Aye, ah dae” while at my lowest weight after so much hard work would just be phenomenal! And shit, just realised I need a swim suit for our honeymoon. How in the hell do I go about that? If I get it now, it might be too big by September? But if I wait til September, shops might not sell them anymore.

You hear that? That’s the sound of Panicking Bride. I swear, even with my small courthouse wedding, there’s still stress.

I have this top that I wore 2 and a half years ago. It’s a simple shirt but I loved how I looked in it. But maybe it’s because I was at my Current Recorded Lowest Adult Weight? Here’s a photo of that time, and me in that shirt. I don’t know what I was doing at this time to be so tiny (ha! Comparatively) other than dating and having lots of sex. But there it is. (PSA: Guy in photo is Best Gay, Lloyd, not sexual partner).

Lowest recent weight

Lowest Weight, NYE 2011-2012

Anyway, my point is – I have that shirt still. I haven’t tried to wear it in many months. Last time I did, I knew immediately to take it back off. It did not flatter the same. My goal is for it to flatter me again in September. If I don’t hit that goal, I’ll survive and keep trying. But it’s a little something to keep working towards for now.

I’m so chatty today. Off to work I go. As much as I hated not making my own money, I sorely miss being unemployed. Being a stay at home wife (NOT mom — childfree woman here) would be ideal. I could just write my fiction all day… Aaaaaand cue daydream.

ForHealthxx

A Bust

My Fat Fast was a bust. Saturday I did rather well. Sunday, I was doing great until about 8pm when my sister and I decided to go to the drive in (Despicable Me 2 & Monsters University! Both awesome). I didn’t want to be stuck with only cream cheese to snack on during the films, so I decided that instead of Fat Fasting, I was going to PIG. OUT. I read on /r/keto that sometimes upping your caloric intake for a few days will help a stall. And that’s what I did. In one sitting I ate TWO bratwurst patties smothered in melted cheese and hot sauce, with sour cream and ketchup to dip. The funny thing is, I guess it wasn’t even that much food. It was just two patties. Like eating two massive burgers at a cookout, not including all the salads and crisps, right? Yet I could barely move through all of Despicable Me 2. I overate for the first time in weeks! That was 1,155 calories in ONE SITTING! I still managed only 1,839 for the whole day. That’s used to be a below-average day. It’s amazing how things change. What an awesome experiment.

I woke up the next day feeling good. I ate a lot of calories, I had a great time at the drive in cinema, but most importantly, I was still in Ketosis! (Ate 29g of carbs on Sunday without working out). I stepped on the scale and had LOST a pound. Wow.

I was buzzing and decided to do my last Fat Fast day. I had half of my Bulletproof Coffee and a chunk of cream cheese. Brought a container of cream cheese to work with me. Yup, that’s right – I was going to do the Extreme Fat Fast. I felt great all day, as I usually do. I went on my work break and had cream cheese, but caved and ate a packet of tuna. Then mother asked me to buy groceries and that’s when I lost control.

OH MY GOD my curry sauces are fairly low carb?!?! Holyyy shit. I bought the korma (8g per 1/3 cup) and the tikka masala (6g per 1/3 cup). I have a curry obsession: Back in Scotland, my fattest nights were when I’d order a take away of chicken korma, basmati rice, garlic naan bread, and don’t forget my beef samosa starters, dipped in their creamy delicious mystery sauce. Food enough for two, probably even three, and I would force it all down my throat. Well, sometimes, I’d see reason and save half for breakfast. But most of the time I’d end up miserably full, hating myself. I couldn’t do that now. My stomach wouldn’t allow. I barely eat over an actual servings size worth these days.

Wow, that was a digression. Point is – when I got home, I was starving and far too excited about my curry. I cooked up a cup of diced chicken, poured 1/3 cup of tikka sauce down over it, let it simmer for 10 minutes and I was whisked back to Scotland on the first bite. I love my curry. My stats were at about 84% fat when I left work, but after dinner I went a pretty decent 9%/63%/28%. So at the end of the day, a good Keto day. And I only had 16g of carbs.

When I’m Ketoing, I struggle to meet my protein quota. So (attempting) Fat Fasting was relatively easy until I started craving protein!? I guess my body is just getting used to the Keto Quotas.

I’m feeling crap having not been to the gym in like a week. I miss the days of unemployment when I could go to the gym WHENEVER I WANTED. Now, despite it being 24/7, I have to account for sleep because I have to function at work. It’s infuriating. I’m mostly mad at myself. I need to AT LEAST get my ass there to do cardio. I bet my weightloss would kick in again. Damn myself!

I have 50 days until my fiancé flies in and 53 days until our wedding. Also, today is his 32nd birthday! I’m glad this the last birthday we’ll have to spend apart. Look at him: He’s actually gorgeous. With his sexy Liverpudlian accent. I want to be the sexiest woman for him.

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Anyway. Off to the doctors! I hope she’s proud 🙂

ForHealthxx